I was scrolling through Facebook recently and came across a meme that made me laugh. It said, “You can’t please everyone. You’re not a taco.” Even if tacos aren’t among your favorite foods, we can agree on at least one thing: You can’t make everyone happy.

Anyone who has served in a leadership position for any time at all has likely faced opposition. Sometimes you know your decision will upset someone regardless of direction. Other times, you’ll be caught completely off-guard. I’ve experienced both.

Sometimes people get upset over the silliest things. During my previous pastorate, the church had a tradition of printing the previous week’s attendance numbers in the weekly bulletin. I came to believe that some people were making too big of a deal out of the numbers, so I instructed the secretary to stop printing them. “Let’s just focus on growing in our personal walks with the Lord, and the attendance growth will take care of itself,” I told them. You can see where this is going. The deacons called me in and laid down the law. The attendance numbers were going back in the bulletin or else. That wasn’t a hill I was ready to die on. What should a ministry leader do when faced with opposition?

1. Look for ways to live in peace

We can’t control what other people do, but we can control our actions. Paul wrote, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Rom. 12:18). I think it is interesting that Paul included the qualifier “if it is possible.” Sometimes it’s not possible because peace requires the agreement of both parties. The Christian must do whatever it takes to find peace as long as the solution does not violate God’s standards.^[1]

2. Choose your words (and your tone) wisely

I’ve had times in the past when my critics were harsh. Their words stung. In these situations, it can be easy to want to sting back. However, that’s not the advice of Scripture. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” according to Proverbs 15:1. Paul took it a step further and said that our words ought not to tear people down. Instead, they should be helpful and build people up (Eph. 4:29).^[2] Leaders should always strive to respond to opposition with grace.

3. If possible, handle the matter in private

Ministry leaders do not have to wonder what procedure to follow when they face opposition. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus describes the process. First, go to the person who opposes you one-on-one to work out a solution. If that doesn’t work, go back with two or three witnesses and seek a solution. If that doesn’t work, Jesus says, “Tell it to the church.” If a volunteer ministry leader gets to that third step, I don’t think you should stand up and announce it to the church. I believe you fulfill that step by getting the pastor involved.

In my experience, miscommunication has been a primary source of strife. The miscommunication is rarely intentional. That’s one of the reasons why it is so important to follow Jesus’s plan for reconciliation. Keeping the matter low-key saves everyone’s reputation and keeps the strife from spreading to others within the ministry. So, seek peace, choose your words wisely, and talk it out in private. As I told someone recently, “A little bit of communication goes a long way.”

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^[1] John MacArthur, Romans, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 1994), 202.

^[2] William Barclay, The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians, The New Daily Study Bible (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox, 2017), 182.